Life Is A Roller Coaster

You know how it is when you live your life, and on occasion, you may look over your shoulder at where you've been, but as time goes on and you walk farther, those things are fuzzy and out of focus? In other words, time forces us to forget. Sometimes it's only in small degrees, sometimes in large increments. Then, out of nowhere, a wall of recollection hits you. You're a victim of long-forgotten emotions, flashes of images that have been tucked safely away for decades...it's almost painful. No, it IS painful.

I am currently dealing with an emotional blast from the past, and I'm becoming almost obsessive in trying to "resolve" issues from 20 years ago. I need to get my head back on my shoulders and deal with TODAY.

Everyone is doing well, for the record. It's been very humid and miserable, the bugs are taking over the world, but other than that...summer is being good to me.

CJ has been on ulcer treatment supps for almost 2 weeks. I see a noticeable change in his behavior and attitude. Just plain perkier. I guess that's good AND bad. I will keep him on them for as long as I need to.

I'll fill you in next week, after Toi's next horse show on Sunday. I'll try to take some good photos for you.

Happy Trails to everyone!

Photo Update for June

Toi is awesome. And handsome. Here's my proof:



Seriously. All y'all can't get the full effect just from pics. He is truly a cool dude. His looks are just icing on the cake, if you can believe it.



Have I mentioned that he is extremely smart and easy to train?



Super handsome and cleans up like a dream.



AND ADORABLE!!



CJ and I on a workout day. I'm ashamed how dirty his polos are. Don't look. :)



No one can tell me he's not a beefcake. Cuz he is.







Believe it or not, I've lost weight. Sad, huh? LOL!




I am truly sorry that I've been MIA. I will try to do better from here on out. It's tough when life is so hectic and there's barely even any time to sleep. This is my busy time of year, but I have no excuse for neglecting my blog.

Thanks for tuning in!!

Whew! 9 Lives?

What a weekend! A refreshing whirlwind, and I truly feel ALIVE in a way that only horses can make me feel. This crap is in my blood; there is just no denying it. By the way, still no news on what's going on with our home...no one has contacted us.

CJ and I had a real big weekend with lessons. This would be my true test of his soundness, since we were booked full both days, other than the time slots set aside for Dancer's training session and Toi's training session. I had to work at my job on Saturday morning, then I headed straight out to the barn for my 1:00 session with Dancer and Kelli.

Dancer was quite good, considering her reluctancy to WORK lately. She is happy to run and buck and play with CJ, but if you tack her up and ask for more than a walk, she gives me that ugly face and swishes her tail, bogs completely down and sometimes even kicks out when I squeeze! She was better on Saturday, though. We worked almost solely on our upward transition to trot and she did very well. My 2:00 lesson was with a young man named David, age 9, I think. I decided to use Dancer for "follow the leader", a fun game that I play with my kids. Sorta like Red Light/Green Light, but more exciting because I don't announce what I'm doing as they follow me. I just do it. So, they develop the habit of looking UP and developing good feel for where their mount is at. CJ loves to follow Dancer, so this would be a breeze. We go about twice around the indoor arena, and as we're coming down the rail at a nice trot clip, I feel Dancer stumble. The area of the arena that we are in when this happens is a little valley, then a hill, then a valley. VERY slight, but has been this way for years. Anyway, ...stumble....wait for recovery....forever passes, and I realize that she is not recovering. I am sailing through the air, and my glance down only reveals the complete folding of Dancer's left front leg before I hit the dirt, about 3 feet in front of her; my head BOUNCES off the arena floor. I lay there a second, clean some of the dirt from my teeth and wipe it from my eyes, just in time to hear a fellow boarder come out to us, run right past me, and go to Dancer's head. Dancer is still on the ground, laying on her side, and making some weird hiccup-y noises. Poor girl knocked the wind out of herself!! Keep in mind, she's 17 hands and 1400 lbs. Boarder tries to encourage Dancer to get up. Dancer's not having it. My eyes slide down from Dancer's head, to the dressage saddle of Jennifer's that I borrowed that day, to the stirrup leathers, to the iron....with my left foot still in it. I almost had a heart attack. Yes, my head was pounding and I felt like a freight train had hit me, but my biggest horsie fear is that I'll be dragged. I couldn't get my foot out of there fast enough. Thank God Dancer was calm and not in a rush to get up, or hadn't panicked and run off. I'm sure I'd not be here to relay this story. Anywho...I have a black eye now.

Ouch. But, really, it didn't hurt. I didn't even notice it until after I got home many hours later, stepped out of the shower, peered in the mirror and said, "Why didn't my makeup come off?" and then tried using makeup remover. PSA of the day: Makeup remover WILL NOT remove a black eye. HA!

Anyway, Dancer was fine. No swelling, no heat. I linimented her twice that day; once right after it happened, around 2:15, and then again at around 7:00, right before I went home.

Oh, and folks, I wasn't wearing a helmet. Dumbass.

I got through the rest of my lessons for Saturday, and I was proud of that. My body hurt SO bad but I doped up on Advil, washed it down with a Miller Lite, and went to bed. Woke up yesterday (Sunday) morning, and my head felt fine. The rest of me DID NOT. I want to pad my clothes with Kleenex or something, but I just get dressed as normal, and drive out to the barn for another day of lessons.

Here is my navicular horse, riding in the outdoor arena for the first time this year. Forgive the Kimberwick (he hates it), but I wanted to be sure my lesson kids had the control they needed. We only used half the arena to keep him focused on his job and not distracted by his pals who were all sun-batheing and playing in the rear paddocks.

Hopefully, that 2nd vid will be done processing by the time I post this update. If not, hopefully this link will work?





See any signs of 4 years of navicular?

So, gang, what're your thoughts on Dancer's stumble and fall? We were fearing EPSM before this happened (reluctance to move forward due to muscle pain/fatigue was a huge red flag), but the vet ruled that out without testing her today. He advised we start her on a high intake of Vitamin E (no added selenium), though. I have heard of E for EPM, but not EPSM. Strange. I love my vet, and trust him a ton, but I also found it strange that he wasn't alarmed about our fall. I described the incident to him, and he didn't have much to say. He did mention that I shouldn't be surprised if Dancer is much more careful about the placement of her feet from here on out, though. Ha ha. Funny funny man.

CJ received a body score of 5, *** insert victory dance here *** and many comments about what great condition he was in. When the vet asks you what your secret is, you just HAVE to feel good, right? He got his teeth floated, Coggins pulled, spring shots, and doc collected a fecal. Same for Toi, minus the teeth float, which he received last fall. So, all in all, a good day.

Here are some shots of some of my favorite student moments yesterday.

CJ and Victoria, above. Victoria was TERRIFIED when she started riding with me 2 years ago. She's a lovely quiet rider, and really tunes in to CJ very well. He adores her, and tries his heart out to make her feel safe. When she says "trot" with that tremble in her voice, he just jogs. I love him.

Here is their "trot". HA! It's his jog, for sure. I sometimes feel sorry her as she posts to that, but hey...if it's her comfort zone, who am I to question?

Focus-faced Victoria and CJ. He has one ear on her and one on me since I'm crouching like a weirdo. I can tell he wants to stop and ask me WTH I'm doing on the ground, but he has a job to do. Jog on.

HA! Practice makes perfect. Victoria masters bending a horse at something faster than a walk! :)

I think this time the ear on Victoria is due to his concern; she's assuming fetal position, and he knows to stop trotting when that happens. Lovely scenery, yes? Complete with step stool/mounting block device!

And, I'm going to sign out and leave you with one of CJ's youngest riders, posing for their photo. They were so cute in all their blue!! I took a video of them, but it didn't come out right. Aren't they a lovely pair? :

I've Been Tagged

Today is a SeeSaw Day. In case haven't figured out what I mean by that, it's a day that is filled with ups and downs. It's for SURE one of those, and I'm not even halfway through it yet!

I was notified that I'm losing my favorite (bad me for just saying that like that?) advanced youth student. She has recently lost interest, and her mother doesn't want to push her. I think that's great, as I am surrounded by parents who are the OPPOSITE, at every danged 4H show I go to. I want my students to WANT to do this. Otherwise, what's the point? But, I'm very sad. Not only did I totally dig her personality (and my daughters love her, too, which DEFINITELY is the test of her coolness) and loved teaching her, but my HORSE ADORED HER! CJ took total care of her, regardless of the circumstances. He carried her to her first Equitation win, and he showed her how to kick butt in halter classes. They were a cute pair, and it was truly my pleasure to share my horse and my time and my space with such a great girl. Her mom said that she hopes she'll come back. I do, too.

No more than 10 minutes after receiving that news, I get this wonderful award from a new, but very dear, friend of mine:

Thank you, Mrs Mom at OhHorseFeathers for the thoughtful gift!! And, honestly, guys, she came into my life for a reason, no doubt. She has really boosted my motivation and encouraged me to hang in there, that I'm on the right track. I can't tell you how good that feels. When trimmers and farriers, vets and chiros, trainers and traders...all look at you like you're crazy cuz your horse is barefoot and navicular, well...it can be easy to believe that they're right! Mrs Mom helps me to realize that I know what is best for my guy, and as long as I'm watching and listening, he will guide me. She's a very valuable pal. If you all have just 5 minutes to check out her blog, please do it. She's awesome! Oh HorseFeathers!!

So, with this award, I am to share 7 things about myself that are currently not known to my blog-readers, and then tag 15 fellow bloggers. Eeek! That's a tall order for little ole me. I'll see what I can do. Firstly, the seven things:

1) The only true friends that I have are also horse people. Many times, they started out as students or clients. I find that they have the same character that I do, and I trust my life to them.

2) My mother and I were extremely close. I am the youngest of 3 girls, with the closest in age being 7 years older. My mother passed away of Lung Cancer when I was 14 years old. My father wasn't capable of caring for me, so I lived with my sister and her family.

3) I have an Associate's Degree in Equine Management. I live in the city, and HATE IT!

4) I am happily married to a man who is of a different race, and is 19 years older than me. We have been married for 13 years and together for 15.

5) My husband and I have lost a daughter, early in our marriage.

6) My oldest daughter is caucasion (like me) but her biological father has been out of her life for many years. She calls my husband Dad, and means it.

7) I tried to live completely devoid of horses for a couple of years. I was as close as they come to being an alcoholic because of it.

Sooo, WHEEEEEEEEE!!! Wasn't that fun?

Now, for my 15 blogs to pass it on to...** drum roll please **

1) This will probably creep her out, but I feel a sistah-hood with Andrea. She and I share the dream for our horses to happily perform with no shoes. Eventing-A-GoGo

2) Full of common sense, a wonderful writer, and I am jealous that she has a pony!! GoldenThePonyGirl

3) Probably the coolest chick that I don't-know- but -wish-I-did. How cool is too cool? Not sure, but Heidi's probably got the insight on that one. HickChic

4) Nothing like living a horse life from a 1st person perspective! Gotta love BIF! :) BIF

5) A retired trainer that doesn't know how to retire. :) Love Mugs for her brains, sense of humor, honesty and her writing! I wanna be her when I grow up. Mugwump Chronicles

6) Shirley is so down-to-Earth. If you don't know her yet, go find her. You'll be glad that you did: RideAGoodHorse

7) I'm convinced that I wouldn't last a DAY living her lifestyle, and for this, she is my hero. And, I have never felt so lucky as to be able to view her world through her eyes, with her photos and stories of life in rural Oregon. One of the first blogs I started following, and still one of my faves: JKsRoughString

8) A new pal of mine, and it turns out we're sorta neighbors. How cool is that? Love her writings, and think she's totally the coolest. MidwestHorse

9) A wonderful writer, and old friend of mine. I admit that I miss her, but I fear that there is no repairing our friendship this time. Regardless, visit her blog. FearlessRiding

10) Did you know the editor of Horse & Rider has a blog? She's way cool, and it's fun to "watch" her travel for her stories. JuliThorson'sHorseTalk

11) EVER'BODY should have this one bookmarked. I come here for my daily chuckle: HorseLaughs

12) Another blog that I've been following for a long time. We seem to be so alike, with the ups and downs, the blues and the silly's. :) FoxyPants

13) I'm a huge fan of Perchies. And Perchies that do cool stuff REALLY steal my heart. This blog and the next blog are daily checkers. Daun had disappeared for a while, thanks to some cruel-hearted individuals on the internet ( gee, they're SO BRAVE to talk smack while hiding behind their 'puters). She's back, and I couldn't be happier!! Brego is just total eye candy. Drool.  EventingDraft

14) Like the above, I'm also in love with Klein. She is so athletic and sweet and gives her heart to her "mom". It's fun to watch their fun! JumpingPercheron

15) Lastly, but NOT LEAST, a blog in which a bunch of equine-savvy lovely lady authors share their talents with us, and even invite other bloggers to submit their stories. I never miss an update on there. If you haven't been addicted all along to this, you will be now! EquestrianInk

So, they've been tagged. HA! And, they all get the Award, and have earned it much more so than I have.

Thanks, Mrs Mom for my tag/Award, and thanks for your support.

I leave you with a short story, late from Wordless Wednesday. Oops!

Toi (left) says, "Yeah, yeah. Your mom is here. Big woop-di-do, CJ. Let's play halter tag."

And, CJ gives him what he wants, no warning whatsoever. HA HA, TOI!!

(Sorry for the poor quality, ...taken with my cell phone camera.)

Happy Trails, All!

The Gift Horse Talks

Okay, I'm going to give this a shot...I have the distinct feeling that this original post here may be edited several times, as some of the feedback and experiences that I am sharing are all muddled up in my head. I'm not at all sure how it will type out from my brain to this blog, but I will try to keep it as organized as I can.

Before I go into a lot of detail, I have to say that I was a bit skeptical of this whole thing. I wanted to talk to my horse, of course (wouldn't anyone???), but bigger than that...I wanted to HEAR HIM. I know he hears me. I see him twitch his ears, bend his neck, drop his head, even roll his eyes at me. I know we connect. We always have; it's why I belong to him, and it's why I walk around calling him Big Guy. We get each other. But like all of us meandering around here in the human realm, we wonder what it is that the animals know that we don't know. We wonder how their lives can be so simple while ours are such a friggin mess. We marvel at their no-nonsense simplicity, and how easily they find such joy in the most minutely satisfactory things...like food and fresh air, and companionship. But, I digress..sorry. Anyway, I was skeptical that it would be possible for me to truly talk to CJ. And for CJ to truly talk to me. I had found a very highly respected person to help us do this, but...if you've never done anything like this before, you feel like a weirdo.

At the end of the day last Sunday, I was sapped. Drained. Beyond exhausted. I have never felt quite that tired before in my life, and trust me...I've had a busy life. In retrospect, I think I was drained to that degree for a couple of reasons. For one, I had very high expectations and my excitement for the day had been building for a week. I had so many questions rolling around in my brain, and so many worries about what I may find out...like, what if the horses hate me? Also, I have a bond with all of the horses who had a reading. I was there for all 3 readings; if not holding the horse, standing very close by, and was involved in each of their experiences. I didn't know the meaning of the word "tired" until Sunday.

Our communicator came very highly recommended. I won't use her real name here. We shall call her Sherry. She started off with Dancer. As it turned out, Dancer had the most to say. She is 4, almost 5, and has been owned by my client since she was 29 days old, brought to live with my client when she was only 3 months old. I came into her life when she was 6 months old, and have been a steadfast part of her education and well-being ever since. She told Sherry (and us) that she wishes she could get more time outside to play. She said she is the most special horse in the barn because she has 2 moms. (Insert teary-eyed grin here) Dancer wants more pink stuff, as she says that too many people mistake her for a boy horse. (She is a big girl, so that may be why that happens...and it really does happen.) She wants more time with her boyfriend (CJ). She has some tummy trouble that her mom already knows about, but she wanted to confirm that...but also wanted us to know that she will be okay. It's part of a 3-part process, and the next steps will reveal themselves at a later date. Dancer wants me to relax, and to not push her. I had to laugh a little bit, because she's almost 5 and we have YET to canter under saddle. If I go any slower, she'll be in retirement before we take a trail ride. But, that was DEFINITELY something Dancer would say. Dancer also had some very private messages for her mom, which I won't share here. But, there is no way that Sherry could've known the things that Dancer shared. No. Way. In. Hell. Dancer had Reiki performed on her, focused mostly on her digestive area. She "released" (more on this later) by attempting to french-kiss me (no, I'm not exaggerating, ask her mother) and by flopping her big ole head all over the place. Sometimes, she had to take a break and just walk it off. Incredible stuff.

CJ was next. I recall my heart pounding when it was time to get him out of his stall. Sherry said the first thing she got from him was that he didn't feel good. His tummy hurt. He was sick, and he had been for quite some time. He said he was ashamed of his coat, that he's always been the horse in the barn with the prettiest coat (SO TRUE!), but his coat isn't nice because he doesn't feel good. (Yes, folks, I will be power-packing him for worms.) Sherry said he also felt a "heaviness" in his belly, separate from the sick/nauseous feeling that he had. I didn't piece it together until later, but we did find sand in his gut 2 years ago when we pulled his fecal. He probably needs more Metamucil treatment...fecal wasn't pulled this last fall. Bad Mom. :( Next, he asked where Dad was. I was speechless. And thoughtless. Dad? Meaning...my husband? Well, he's just not a horse person, and has been around CJ a handful of times in the last 5 years. Only 2 of those times were since we "purchased" him. I was embarrassed that CJ was calling us out on it, and I also felt a chest pang...as if CJ's feelings were hurt. It was so weird, and surreal. So, I vocalized to him that Dad didn't have a lot of time, and just wasn't a real animal guy. Sherry said CJ thought that was fine, but that he thought Dad was a pretty cool guy and he wished he would come out and visit more often...be a part of the family. I was blown away by this, because it really is only me and the girls that spend time with CJ, and even that is very rare. CJ and I give lessons and when we're done, I go home. That's our routine. Which brings me to the next topic...CJ wanted to know why I don't spend more time with him...one on one. Immediately after asking that question, he asked me why I felt so guilty. Well, here is where I burst into tears. How could he know how guilty that I felt? When I composed myself enough to speak, I explained that I felt bad that he had to work for a living. I felt bad that he had to earn the money for his keep. I looked around the barn at the horses that didn't have to work so hard, and I apologized to CJ for putting him in that position. Sherry was crying now, too, ...and CJ said....that he didn't mind working at all.

< I was so shocked. So, this horse who has developed a habit of pinning his ears and swishing his tail, feigning like he's going to bite his rider when they squeeze for forward movement...he doesn't mind giving lessons? What?! I wasn't prepared for this. I thought he hated what he was doing. My shock must've shown on my face...CJ said he acts this way because his tummy hurts and he just doesn't feel good. Once his tummy is better, he will act better. Wow. He also had these requests: More time with Dancer, his girlfriend No more purple halters and leadropes; he likes blue and wants blue stuff He will behave himself in the trailer if I'll stop making him go to shows; he wants to ride the trails. (GASP!) He likes little kids, but especially little girls. He mentioned names, which I won't mention here. He wants me to start braiding his tail again. He wants more treats, and specifically wants pears. He would like to try an orange. (I have never fed him a pear OR an orange, so...I'll keep you posted on those) His saddle doesn't hurt, other than pinching his belly sometimes (yes, I have a fuzzy cinch I can start using again), and a little over his withers. He requests a soft foam thing to go in that spot. Help??? He is afraid of loud noises and some men. Loud noises? I have been ON him when someone started up a chain saw on the other side of the wall, and he didn't bat an eye. I have never known him to spook from a sound. His rebuttal? He takes his job very seriously, so if someone is riding him, he knows he shouldn't jump around, so he swallows his fears. Had no clue about the men, either, but he's not around many of them, so... He wants his stall to be on the other side of the aisle. And, he wanted to know why he couldn't have the double stall. I had to laugh at that one! Greedy hound. :) He loves Toi like a brother, but Toi can be irritating. (Toi is a high-energy Arab cross, and CJ's turnout partner...this wasn't surprising news to me) I can't remember a whole lot more right now. He gave me his opinions of some people, which was very helpful for me. I want to make the right choices for him, and his input was greatly appreciated. I have to mention that the entire time he was communicating with me, Sherry was performing Reiki on him. The entire hour. My very well-behaved gelding stood in the aisle on a loose lead, and with a rubber feed pan between his teeth, he proceeded to shake his head up and down for at least 15 minute intervals, non-stop. I have never seen him do anything like that before. Ever. The energy work requires the animal to "release" and Sherry explained to me that this is what he was doing. It was incredible to see this...I have no words to describe it. She spent almost a full 30 minutes on his left knee (who knew?) as this is where he kept asking her to work. He also demanded work on his legs more than anywhere else in his body. Makes sense, for a "navicular" horse, doesn't it? Just wow.

Wow.


A very good friend of mine brought photos of her dog and cat, and Sherry spent the next hour working with my friend on those animals. I took that time to let CJ stretch his legs in the indoor arena. Blog-readers, I have never EVER seen him be so athletic. He ran for the simple joy of it. Sliding stops, rollbacks, dolphin bucks, rearing and squealing. Halting, puffing up and snorting at me, then taking off again. I'm sure most of it was releasing all of that energy. But, I tell you what...not ONE misstep. Not one head bob. He ran like he was a colt. He ran because it felt good. So, he ran some more.

Wow.

When he was bored with running for no reason, he stopped at the opposite end of the arena, looked at me, and perked up his ears. I asked him if he was done, and he just kept staring at me, stone still. I opened the gate and walked out toward him. As I got close, he dropped his head lower to the ground, ears still perked at me, eyes bright...his legs did a little shake/hop so he was sprawl-legged and low. I stopped walking, and crouched a little bit...he took off like a shot. When he stopped, I'd crouch again. His tail would flag, and off he'd go again. He was playing with me! My 10 year old navicular horse that hated moving was PLAYING WITH ME. Let me tell you something, all you skeptical folks out there...I'd pay double what I paid to do this again. Maybe triple...um, yes, for sure I'd pay triple. This was priceless.

Around this time, Toi's mom arrived, and it was almost time for Toi to have his reading. I'm going to let her type up what she wants to be mentioned. So, not intentionally leaving you hanging here, guys...I promise. My fingers are about to fall off, anyway...but I wanted to get something up here for you to chew on.

Thanks for tuning in. :)

Reaping Rewards

I'll finish my Ladybug story another day...I don't think too many folks are exactly on the edge of their seats over it.

I had a long day at work yesterday, and it was one of those times that I didn't feel like driving the 45 minutes to the barn. It was cold, snowing, and dark, and I could envision my nice warm house, a yummy meal cooked up by the hubby, and an early snuggle into my bedcovers. But, I hadn't been to the barn in over a week, was missing my gelding, and really wanted to get my client horses back to work. I had pre-arranged for 3 clients to come out at different times and for us to have an impromptu group lesson. After everyone arrived, I'm sure it was quite comical watching us try to piece together enough equipment for us to have that many horses working at one time. We had a lot of good laughs, and although it took us almost 30 minutes to get all the horses ready, it was fun and relaxing.

One of my clients in particular had not been out in a couple of months, as she has a family, and is studying law. I have been working her Arab for her, and putting some WP time on him, so I was looking forward to showing her his new moves. This is him below, hanging out in his paddock with my gelding, CJ. Isn't he a looker???









It was wonderful to show him off, and even better to see her ride him around and smile a little bit. She deserves it.


I also was able to see my friend Beth's horse being worked with by someone else. She sure is a nice little mare. I don't have photos of her, but I will get some soon. You can visit her at her blog, too, http://fearlessriding.blogspot.com/ . We met in high school many moons ago, and I'm proud to be her friend.

And, then there was Dancer. What a booger she was! I started this mare lightly under saddle as a 2 year old, and have tried to make things interesting for her ever since. She's a BIG girl, so when she doesn't wanna do something, well... we don't do it. It's never been a problem before because she's a respectful and happy-go-lucky young lady...until last night. Squeeze for a trot = pin ears, toss head, and throw hip out at a balking halt. Bad Dancer. "Back up, Dancer" = pin ears, plant feet, toss head, sidepass. At one point, she got so mad at me for asking her to go forward with my legs that she struck out in slow motion with her left front leg, hitting the arena wall. Temper tantrum. No other words for it. So, I used reverse psychology and started praising her for everything she was doing right. Before you know it, we were trotting off happily. Little stinker. Well, big stinker. I've been working with her since she was 6 months old, so I can call her names if I want.


Baby Dancer




Anyway, before I get too off track...I'm very grateful for the opportunities to work with great horses and great people. And, even after getting stuck in the driveway for 20 minutes before I could leave the barn last night, I had that wonderful satisfied feeling in my gut and in my heart. Can it get any better than that???? Such rewards....